Don’t Take Anything Personally

What somebody says to you or says about you tells you more about them, then it does about you. That was a lesson that I learned many years ago and one that I still use each and every day. A natural law that says ‘Don’t take anything personal.’ Even your experience of someone doesn’t tell you anything about that person, really. Because your experience of someone which leads to some conclusions about them, is only from your own small perspective. We all see the world from our own view but we keep expecting people to act like we would act, to say things how we would say them. Wow, how dull would the world be if people acted the way we wanted them to.

There is a wonderful little book called the Four Agreements by Don Miquel Ruiz. Now I know that most of you may have read this wonderful little book or may have it sitting on your bookshelf, but can you tell me that you are honestly living every agreement?

When I first read this little book over 15 years ago, I would study each agreement for weeks. I would spend each day living, practicing and breathing each agreement for weeks and even months at a time. Transformation of the mind takes time and diligence.

The mind can make you feel happy and the mind can make you feel so so very sad. I learned this many years ago when I was in high school. I had the most gigantic crush on Rob Morrow but he was in twelfth grade while I was in the tenth. Every time I thought I saw Rob, my heart would jump into my throat. Now only half the time was it actually him that I saw, but still my body would react with the same intensity each time because my mind thought it was him.

I got my next profound lesson in the power of thought in my 20’s when I was so desperately trying to procure a recording contract. Being a singer/songwriter in Nashville caused my emotions to run up and down like a roller coaster.  Before too long I developed a stomach ulcer. Then one day shortly after I discovered meditation I realized that my thoughts and emotions had been running and mostly ruining my life.

So with the help of meditation and self reflection I had a huge aha moment when I realized the mind changes and I change with it, so why don’t I take more control over it rather then it controlling me. If my mind can fake me and my body out why can’t I fake my mind out. Maybe even my mind for the better. It started off by me expecting a miracle each day. I would talk to myself and pretend something amazing happened like news of a recording contract. This is how the conversation in my head would go: How would I be acting and feeling today if I got a call for a record deal. I would be ecstatic. I would be over the moon thrilled…so why wait! Why not pretend? If that thought could put me in an amazing mood then why not expect a miracle such as that and be thrilled now, right now in this moment. I realized that I could feel good everyday by tricking my mind. Eventually I was feeling happy most of the time or at least if my mind was not happy, I wasn’t paying attention to any negative self talk. It’s a process but it did work for me.